City of Broken Dreams
by Still Marauding
Summary: Lily always knew she was a freak. Being Half Demon and Half Nephilim meant that she fit in niether world. But it also meant that she was a Warlock, and one plauged with visions of destruction, all centered around Jonathan Morgenstern. But she doesn't realize the true extent of her power until she meets Magnus Bane, who shows her the true nature of her power, and what it intales.
1. Vision

It was getting worse.

She couldn't control it anymore, couldn't hide it.

She knew what she was: a freak. And a class A one at that.

She pressed the buzzer hard and turned up the collar on her coat. The rain was coming down hard now, pelting her like bullets.

There was no answer.

She punched the button again, leaning on it for a minute. The action had its desired effect. An annoyed sounding voice answered.

"Whatever you're selling, I'm not buying."

"Is this Magnus Bane?" she asked, ignoring him.

"What's it to you?"

"Obviously something or I wouldn't be asking, would I?" There was silence on the other end. She leaned on the button again.

"ALRIGHT!" he shouted, and she heard the door click open. She smiled to herself and bit her lip before opening the door and climbing the stairs. As she reached the second landing she saw the door swing open and a figure plant himself firmly in the doorway. She couldn't tell if it was the dim light or the fact that she was wearing her darkest sunglasses, but he seemed _sparkly._

"What do you want?" he said, leaning against the door frame.

"I need help."

"So go to the Clave, you're obviously one of theirs," he said, turning. "I'm done helping Shadowhunters."

"The Clave can't help me."

"And what makes you think I can?"

She pushed her sunglasses up into the ebony of her hair. Magnus's eyes widened as he took in the thin, pale face and the strange, pupil-less blue eyes. She gave him a strange, sad look. Her eyes seemed to swim like stormy kaleidoscopes, ever swirling and changing.

Without a word he moved aside and she stepped inside the apartment.

They were sitting in his living room, which was a carefully articulated mess of color. She balanced tentatively on the edge of a magenta couch as Magnus snapped his fingers.

"Coffee?" he asked, offering her a steaming mug.

"No thanks," she said looking down at her hands. She tugged nervously at her leather gloves as he surveyed her. Then she pulled her sunglasses back down over her eyes. They made her feel safe.

Magnus, however, did not like this happening and reached over and tugged them from her face. She didn't say anything, merely looked back down at her wringing hands.

"Look up," he said, placing a hand under her chin. She did, though she couldn't look at him. Instead her eyes roved madly around the room, her hands shaking worse than ever.

"Just, hold still for a moment," he said impatiently. "And just look at me. Look AT me."

She did, though she shook like a leaf. She stared into his eyes, yellow-green with pupils like a cat's. Then she turned away abruptly.

"How long have you known?" Magnus asked, sitting back.

"Since I was eight," she said quietly.

"It took you that long? With those eyes?"

"I thought perhaps I might've been part-Faye," she said, looking up at him. "You know how the blood of the Fair Folk works its magic. That was until-" She removed one of her black gloves and held up a hand. Purple flames dripped down her hand.

Magnus raised an eyebrow. "Now explain what this has to do with me."

She faltered, looking up at him with wide eyes. "I don't know what to do- What this means-"

"So go back to doing whatever you've been doing for the past eight, nine years."

"You mean traveling from Institute to Institute, getting kicked out of one school after the next?"

"Why don't you go back home?" Magnus suggested, looking bored.

"Because my mother tried to kill me last time I went there."

Magnus turned away. He didn't like this girl. She was strangely unsettling like something tame that had gone feral. She reminded him of himself.

He felt the pair of glasses being pulled from his hands and turned back to her. Her eyes were far away and swirling slowly, like the churning waters of the East River. She gasped, her mouth opening. The glasses fell from her hand as her eyes started whirling faster and faster. The blue of her eyes turned lighter and lighter and her hands twisted into unnatural shapes.

Her irises flashed white and she fell to the floor, convulsing uncontrollably. Magnus dropped to his knees and turned the girl over onto her back. Her eyes where completely white, staring blankly up at the ceiling.

She arched her back, mouth wide in a silent scream. Then she dropped to the ground, limp as a broken doll, her head lolling awkwardly to the side.

"Jonathan," she said suddenly in a hoarse voice.

"What?" Magnus asked.

"He is here, in New York. He has returned for his blood. It will all end in blood. The blood of the Angel and that of the Devil will flow in the street and it will choke the life from all who remain. He is here. He is coming."

Her eyes fluttered open, still snowy white. She tried to get up but fell.

"Take my hand," Magnus said, extending it towards her. She looked blindly around.

"I can't see," she breathed, reaching out a hand. Tears ran down her face. Tears like black watercolors.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her gently back onto the couch. She shook terribly. Magnus sighed and pulled her into his arms, stroking her hair.

"Shhh, it's going to be ok. We're going to figure this out."

"It's getting worse. I can't make it stop. Not since-" she broke off, reaching into her coat. She drew out a what looked like a bundle of white sticks which she quickly unfolded into a cane and dropped to her knees, searching for her glasses.

"I should go, I'm sorry," she said quickly, scooping them up and hiding her unearthly eyes.

"No, wait," Magnus said, following her as she strode towards the door. "What you said about Jonathan-"

"He's here," she said quietly. "I can see him. I can hear him sometimes." She tripped on the rug and Magnus caught her. "I must be going crazy, right? It can't be _real._ But I saw him; I've seen him before with another blonde boy and a red haired girl. And I saw you fight him and I knew you were real because I _saw_ you in Alicante. Sometimes I wonder if he'll be the last thing I ever see."

"Why? That doesn't make sense-"

"This blindness, it doesn't just go away in an hour or two. It was two weeks until I could see after I saw you fighting him at the door. I just want it to go away. I want it all to end."

Magnus stared at her for a moment. She was still shaking, her black coat rippling around her. He knew he had vowed to stay out of this whole war, to stay the hell away from Shadowhunters once and for all- but he could feel his resolve wavering. He ground his teeth as she fumbled for the door handle, her lithe fingers splayed.

"Where are you staying?" he asked through his teeth.

"I don't know," she said honestly. Magnus sighed and shook his head.

"Give me a second, I'll get my coat," he said.

"Why?"

"So you don't get abducted by some crackhead trafficker," he said rolling his eyes.

"I'm fine, I don't need your pity," she said, her hand tightening on the cane.

"It isn't pity. Truth is, we need your freaky powers babycakes. And I know someone who will be more than happy to house you for a few days."


	2. Sympathy

She reminded him of Alec. That must be what it was, he thought as he walked with her down the rain-soaked street.

Less so, now that she had elbowed him painfully in the stomach. Though he supposed he deserved it for sneaking up on a blind girl.

He held onto her arm as he navigated the now familiar streets to Luke Garroway's house. He couldn't shake the strange feeling he got from her, like he already knew her, somehow.

He must have seen her in Alicante and not realized it. She said she saw him.

Though how could her have forgotten those eyes.

She obviously hated them; he could see as much in her inability to look at him and her attachment to those sunglasses. They were bizarre, it was true, but he found them intriguing, almost beautiful.

"Lily," she said suddenly.

"What?"

"My name is Lily. Lily Nightwater."

"Nice to meet you Lily."

He still wasn't sure if he meant it.

He turned down the alleyway that led to Luke's back door. He parted the fence easily with magic, and stepped onto the stoop, gingerly helping Lily. Then he knocked.

Luke answered the door, looking tired, but healthy. He eyed Magnus quizzically before his eyes fell on Lily.

"What's going on?" he asked, leaning on the doorframe.

"Can we come in?"

"No offence Magnus, but I'm trying to keep my family safe. I don't need more Downworlders seeing where I live. Or Nephilim, or whatever you are."

"I don't think that will be a problem, she said, removing her glasses. Luke took a step back. She smiled sadly. "Thank you for your time."

She turned and began making her way back, one hand on the chain link fence, one leading with her white cane.

Magnus turned back to Luke. "Look, I know none of us need any more trouble, but she knows where Jonathan is. She had- some sort of vision at my apartment. She tracked me down from one of these visions and from seeing me in Alicante."

"Seeing? Magnus, she's blind-"

"I know, but it's a side effect of the visions, I saw it happen-"

"I'm sorry, but this is just a little too farfetched-"

"I know how this sounds, I didn't believe it at first either, but just listen to her. She says that Sebastian is in the city and I think he's after Clary."

"Fine, we'll talk, but I'm not promising anything."

Magnus turned, expecting Lily to still be pacing the fence, looking for an exit, but she was gone.

"Shit," he said, looking wildly around. "Where'd she go?"

Luke turned inside and grabbed his coat. A red headed figure appeared behind him.

"Luke, what's going on?" Jocelyn asked, resting her hand on his arm.

"It's nothing-"

"I found someone who might be able to lead us to Sebastian. Well, technically, she found me-"

"Where is she?" Jocelyn asked, looking around Luke's back yard.

"That's what we were just trying to figure out."

"Give me a second, I'll get my coat."

They set off a moment later. "She can't have gone far," Luke said as they approached the mouth of the alley. Sure enough she was a block away crossing the street, the clicking of her can a metronome. Magnus thought he heard her humming "Riders on the Storm."

"Lily!" he called out, just as a pair of racing headlights appeared. She stopped and looked back in his direction as the car barreled straight at her.

Magnus watched as if in slow motion as the driver tried to stop, as she turned at the screech of the brakes just in time to tumble head first over the still moving car. She flipped head first over the grey sedan and flew into the air. The car sped away without a second glance from the driver.

She plummeted towards the ground, but as she neared the asphalt she seemed to slow, her features distorted as if underwater.

She was. A shimmering sphere of water encircled her, popping as it touched the ground and gently depositing her on the pavement.

The three rushed forward, dreading what they were about to see. But she was already struggling up, a fresh cut streaming freely along her cheek and bruises blooming on what little skin he could see.

She didn't seem to have noticed their arrival. Her arm was bent in a way that suggested that it was broken in at least two places.

Without another word Luke picked the girl up from the pavement and started towards the house. She let out a blood curdling scream and began thrashing madly in his arms.

"It's ok Lily, is it? We're going to help you," he said soothingly, but she continued flailing.

"Lily!" Magnus said sharply, grabbing her arms. "Calm down!"

She fell limp at his touch, whimpering softly.

Luke crossed to the door, Jocelyn opening it for him.

"What's going on?" Clary asked, appearing suddenly. "We heard screams-"

"Car accident," Luke said, depositing her onto the threadbare couch.

"Is she one of the Pack?" Clary asked. They ignored her. Magnus practically shoved them out of his way, unbuttoning her long black trench coat and tossing it aside.

She wore nothing but a ragged black tshirt and a pair of worn jeans. Swirling marks covered her arms, though they seemed clumsily drawn, as if drawn by someone who couldn't quite remember what they were supposed to look like.

She was tiny despite her considerable height, almost skeletal. Magnus could see the fracture in her arm through her pale skin.

"All right, everyone out," he said, flexing his hands. Blue sparks were already flying from his fingertips.

"What's going on?" Simon asked appearing in the doorway.

"OUT!" Magnus yelled.

Fifteen minutes later Magnus wiped his brow and surveyed the girl. The cuts and bruises were gone and her arm healed. Her eyes had begun to turn a swirling milky blue.

"Magnus?" she asked, her milky eyes staring a foot to the left of him.

"Yes?"

"Thank you," she whispered. He smiled despite himself.

"No problem." He took her arm and helped her up from the couch. Her legs shook like that of a newborn fawns. He wondered how she could stand on such twiggy legs.

They stepped into the brightly lit kitchen in which the others had assembled. Jocelyn hurriedly pulled out a chair for the girl, obviously wondering, like Magnus, how her legs could support her weight. Lily stared determinately at the floor, hiding her peculiar eyes.

"So what is all this about?" Luke asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Magnus, do you have my glasses?" she asked quietly.

"Forget the damn glasses," Luke said impatiently. Lily recoiled at his tone. "Magnus said you _saw_ Sebastian, that he's after Clary!"

She looked up slowly, her pupil less eyes churning blindly. The others flinched. She turned her face back to her hands, a tear sliding down her face.

"Sebastian is dead. Jonathan is in New York."

"What about Clary?" Jocelyn asked.

"Who is Clary?" Lily asked, confused.

"My daughter, Clarissa-"

"Oh my god, he's back?" Clary asked indignantly. Lily stared at her blankly. Then she turned back to her wringing hands, which were covered in purple flames.

"Umm," Simon said, staring at her hands.

"Don't worry about it," Magnus said, returning to the room, a pair of sunglasses in his hand. He took her hand in his and placed them in her hand without a word. She gave him a small smile, pulling them quickly over her disconcerting eyes.

"I'll call Maryse," Jocelyn said, picking up the phone. "The Clave will need to be informed and Lily will have to speak-"

"No!" She said suddenly. "I don't want to go to the Clave! I won't! I can't! They'll kill me!"

"What are you-" Jocelyn started but Magnus put a hand to her temple and she fell back against the chair, unconscious.

"What was that about?" Jocelyn asked angrily. "Why does she think the Clave wants to kill her?"

"Surely you remember what it's like to be on the run from the Clave. The last person she met from there tried to kill her."

"I highly doubt that," Jocelyn shot back. "Who would try to kill a Nephilim child?"

"Her mother," Magnus answered coolly. Jocelyn fell silent. Magnus eyed the gathering, regretting now that he had come.

"Well this was an incredible waste of time," Magnus said. Luke opened his mouth to say something but Magnus cut him off. "I'll have her at the Institute tomorrow."

"So that's it? You're just going to leave?" Clary burst out. "'Oh hey, I found some crazy blind psychic on my doorstep and she says your brother is coming to get you. Bye!'"

"She's not crazy," Magnus said quietly.

"Yeah, she's a total picture of mental health, sitting over there lighting her hands on fire."

Magnus rounded on her. "Tell me when you've been born with the Devil's Mark. When you've had to spend the last eight years on your own. When you have to spend the next week blind to warn some girl who thinks you're just some blind crazy freak."

With that he turned on his heel, scooped up the unconscious girl and kicked the door open, letting it slam behind him.


	3. Boundaries

Lily kept her eyes closed. She'd been having a good dream. Something with kind voices and soft edges and _pillows_. She could almost feel the softness of them, the indulgence of the bed. It had been _years_ since she'd been in a proper bed…

She sat bolt upright. She was in a bed, and a very large one it seemed. She couldn't remember how she'd gotten there, nor why. She couldn't see.

A whimper escaped her lips. She had no idea where she was. She didn't have a hope of finding her way out. Her head ached terribly. She wondered if perhaps she'd been drugged.

"Oh, good, you're up," came a voice to her left. She shrunk away, getting tangled up in all the blankets.

"It's Magnus you silly creature," the voice said and she relaxed. _Magnus, whom she had come to see._ The events of the night came rushing back to her. _Car, angry voices, pain, oblivion. _"Come on, up we go, you need to get ready to meet with the Conclave."

She began to tremble. She didn't want to stand before the Consul, the hold the Sword. She didn't want to feel their angry stares or hear their cruel words. She knew what they'd say.

_Half-breed. Freak. Abomination. _

She'd heard it all before as far as her mother was concerned and she'd paid dearly for it. She didn't want to give up whatever fragile world that she'd created for herself. It was different telling Magnus. He was a Downworlder, a Warlock, he knew what it was like. The Clave had no idea what it was like for creatures like her that fit into no world, but merely hung from the edges of whatever they could.

"Don't make me go," she said her voice shaking. "You don't know what they'll do to me-"

"They won't do anything to you. You are doing them a great service."

"Magnus, I shouldn't exist. I should be dead. I should be dead ten times over-"

"Lily-"

"Magnus, Shadowhunters and demons can't have children. I should have been stillborn. Why am I not dead? Why couldn't I have been born dead?"

She felt tears spring to her eyes and wiped them away angrily. Why was she falling apart like this. Surely he thought her incredibly stupid. She wished she could see his face, could guess what her was thinking, but she was stuck in this black hole of a nightmare.

She felt him sit down on the bed. She bit her lip, waiting for him to tell her to shut up and get to the Clave, that it was her duty as a Shadowhunter, even if no one would treat her like one.

But he merely stroked her hair soothingly. She felt the tears coming again but didn't bother wiping them away. She'd never had anyone treat her like this before, like they cared. Not even her own mother.

But Magnus just sat there and stroked her hair until she'd cried herself out.

"I know I have to go," she said finally, wiping her eyes.

"You don't have to do anything," Magnus said, much to her disbelief.

"Yes I do, or people will die and it will be because of me." And maybe if she helped enough people she could make up for what she was.

"I'll lay out some clothes for you," he said getting up.

"Magnus, I'll just wear mine, I don't want you buying anything for me."

"Who said anything about buying?"

Fifteen minutes and one argument later they were sitting in a booth at Taki's. Lily was clothed in a light blue sweater and a pair of new jeans that he had "borrowed" from Saks on Fifth. She had pulled back her hair into a ponytail, revealing a thick silvery scar above her temple that shot down and into her hairline. Magnus was itching to ask how she had gotten it but held his tongue.

"Do you want me to read the menu to you," he asked. She shook her head.

"I don't want anything."

"You're way too skinny, you're eating something. When's the last time you've eaten anything?"

"One or two, I don't remember," she said, blindly tracing an energy Rune on her wrist.

"You haven't eaten for days?" he asked incredulously. She looked at him as if he were mad, her eyebrows knitting together over her sunglasses.

"Weeks."

"Are you insane? You can't _do_ that, it's not healthy."

"But I figure that if I don't eat for long enough, all the magic will just die." He sighed, putting his head in his hands.

"All you're going to do is kill yourself slowly and you will have no hope of controlling your powers."

"So I can kill myself? I thought Warlocks were immortal-"

"They're immortal, not infallible. You can still die from injuries or starving yourself though it would take months, possibly years.

She didn't seem to have heard him. The corner of her mouth was raised in a sort of sad smile.

"You are _not_ going to kill yourself," Magnus said angrily. Kaelie stopped by the table to take their order and Magnus rattled off a few items without looking at the menu. She smiled at him before sauntering off to the kitchen. "Do you hear me? That is not an option."

"Why not?" she asked angrily. "What am I living for? Impending permanent blindness and living on the street. It sounds awesome."

"Lily, we're going to figure this out, there is _no reason_ for you to talk like this." He reached across the table and pulled off her sunglasses, much to her dismay. "You have to learn to live with yourself and who you are. You have to stop hiding."

He sat back as Kaelie dropped off their food- two plates of steaming pancakes covered in honey- and left. Lily was determinately staring down at the floor, obviously trying to hide her eyes.

"Stop it," he said forcefully. "Stop being so ashamed of your eyes. If you haven't noticed, I have strange eyes too and you don't see me hiding them. You have beautiful blue eyes. Startling really. The only off-putting thing you have to worry about is the fact that you don't happen to have a pupil."

"They swirl," she said suddenly. "It's creepy."

"To you. Now eat your breakfast." She did as she was told. They ate in silence for a few moments.

"Magnus?" she asked quietly.

"Yes," he said, halfway dreading her question.

"What is this that I'm eating?" He laughed, shaking his head.

"Pancakes and honey."

"This stuff is amazing," she said vehemently. "It's like magic in your mouth."

Magnus spit out his mouthful of orange juice and banged his fist on the table, collapsing into laughter. When he looked up he saw she was covered in orange juice, steadily eating her pancakes.

"I'm really sorry about that," he said still laughing.

"I don't even care, these are bloody fantastic," she said, a bit of orange juice running down her nose. He cleared it up with a snap of his fingers, still chuckling.

"You are an odd girl," Magnus said shaking his head.

"Is it the whole shouldn't exist mutant thing or the fact that I've never had this glorious invention you call 'pancakes?'" She said, the corner of her mouth twitching up.

"You seem to be in a better mood."

"That's because I'm eating pan cooked wonderment." Magnus snorted, shaking his head. She gave him a strange look, blinking hard.

"What's wrong?" he asked. She opened her eyes experimentally and stared at him in astonishment.

"I can see you!" she said incredulously. Then her face fell. "Are you sparkly or am I going crazy?"

Magnus laughed, "No I'm pretty sparkly today, but I wouldn't rule out the crazy just yet."

Her face split into the first real smile he'd seen on it. "I can see!" she said and hopped up onto the booth and looked around. "I can see you," she said, pointing to an ifrit and the bar, "And you-" A vampire drinking a blood smoothie, "And you-"

"Yes and we can see you too," said the werewolf dining next to the ifrit grumpily.

"You sir," Lily said, pointing at him menacingly. Magnus kicked himself mentally, remembering the many fiascos caused by young Shadowhunters, especially a certain blonde one he'd like to steer clear of. "Would be correct," she finished in the same serious tone. "But the difference is that I couldn't see when I came in here. Therefore the explanation is obvious." She reached down and held the plate of pancakes above her head. "These pancakes are magical. That is all."

She sat back down, her cobalt eyes glinting. Magnus buried his head in his arms, halfway caught between embarrassment and amusement. It was certainly nothing Alec would have done.

_Alec._ He kicked himself for thinking of him, especially now that he'd become so good at not thinking about him.

"I told you they were magical," Lily said seriously, though she was grinning madly, one eyebrow raised.

Magnus laughed again, glad for the distraction.


	4. Revelations

Lily sat outside of the library door, nervously wringing her hands. The hall was dark and empty and silent as the grave. She wished for some sort of noise to distract her from the hushed murmurings on the other side of the door.

She turned her head as she heard footsteps coming down the hall, though it was a few minutes before their source was revealed. It was two boys, like light and shadows with a little redheaded girl. Lily quickly looked down, wishing she could blend into the surrounding.

"Hey is that-?" she heard one of the boys ask.

"Shhh," the girl laughed.

"I'm pretty sure you were right," the boy said, amusement evident in his tone.

Lily curled her hands into fists. She hated the way they talked about her, like she was too beneath them to even understand.

"Hey, you there," the boy said, still laughing. "Is it true? Are you some sort of psychic freak?"

"Jace-"

Lily ground her teeth, glad that her face was hidden in her hair.

"Are you deaf as well as blind?"

"Keep talking. Someday you might say something intelligent," Lily shot back quietly.

The other boy laughed by the sound of it and she allowed herself a small smile.

"Who are you then?" the first boy- Jace- asked. "Cause I think this whole thing is a load of crap. Everyone knows that you can't have a kid who's half Shadowhunter and half demon. It's common knowledge."

Lily ignored him.

"Well go on then, just admit it. You're completely full of it! You're probably in league with Sebastian! You're probably just some half rate spy!"

Lily stood up very quickly, making them jump. The blonde boy watched with gloating superiority as she pulled back her sleeve, revealing the clumsily made marks on her arm. The red headed girl nudged him and whispered something, probably about the quality of the Marks, to which they laughed, but for once she didn't care.

She brushed her hair back from her eyes and they gasped and for once she didn't mind that they were frightened by them. She held out her hand so they could see it clearly and then murmured several words she had never been taught, but somehow knew instinctively. Her hand burst into bright purple fames that licked at her skin and burned almost white. The trio scrambled back with a yell.

"Having fun?" Magnus said, leaning in the doorway. They jumped and Lily's arm went out with a pop. She had no idea how long he'd been standing there.

Lily looked down quickly, ashamed.

"Everyone in the Library," Magnus said, and she could feel his eyes on the back of her head.

Magnus bit back a smile as he watched Jace and Clary file through the door. Lily was still staring at her feet as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. It was almost funny how guilty she looked, though not quite as funny as Jace and Clary's expressions had been.

Then Alec stepped forward out of the shadows.

"Magnus, I-" he started but Magnus would have none of it. He hated seeing Alec, hated the heartstrings he pulled at, hated the way his eyes lit up when he saw him. It wasn't fair that he still loved him, not after what he had done.

He acted without thinking, and merely reached for Lily, whose eyes were still firmly planted on her boots. She looked up with wide eyes the color of blue bottle glass as he crushed her to him, a sharp intake of breath escaping her lips before they were on his.

She went rigid as he twisted his hand into her hair and then relaxed as his lips parted hers. He pulled her closer and she tentatively placed her hands at his waist. He explored her mouth, his tongue expertly awakening her nerves. He could feel her heart racing, her breath hitch, trace the thick scar into her hairline.

The door slammed and he stepped back from her, her arms falling lightly from his waist to her sides. She stared at him strangely, her bottle blue eyes spinning and something far away in her expression.

"Huh," she said a strange voice, her expression hinting at something he wasn't sure he understood. Magnus opened his mouth to say something but she moved to the door and closed it with a click. He shook his head and followed her inside.

Lily sat in the very back of the library as the Conclave assembled. She was mindlessly tossing a pen knife in the air, letting it twirl over itself before catching it by the hilt.

She didn't know how she felt about kissing Magnus. Sure, it had been fantastically breathtaking, but that didn't mean that she liked it. Or so she was trying to tell herself.

"Mind if I sit here?" the dark haired boy from the corridor asked and she jumped, catching the knife too early. It burrowed into her skin and stuck into her palm. She blinked hard and looked from her bleeding hand to the boy and back again.

She shook her head and stared attentively at her hand. It was bleeding profusely, the end of the blade visibly sticking out of the back of her hand.

"Are you ok?" the boy asked, looking slightly concerned.

"Do you think this will get me out of talking to the Conclave?" she asked.

"Probably not, all you need is an iratze," the boy said.

"Damn it," she said, pulling the knife from her hand.

"What did you do?" Magnus asked, sitting on her other side and looking at her blood soaked hand. "I told you, you have nothing to worry about with the Conclave."

Lily mumbled something indistinctly, clutching her hand. She scowled at him before reaching into her boot.

"You're going to get blood all over your jeans," Magnus said.

"I need to get my steele," she said. She dug it out and pressed it to her injured hand. Then she paused. She sighed and stuffed it back into her boot.

"You didn't _do_ anything," the boy said, looking at her strangely.

"I know."

"Why don't you just iratze yourself?" he asked. She didn't look at him.

"Because I don't remember how," she said very quietly.

"What do you mean you don't remember?"

Lily ignored him, her eyes downcast.

"Lily, just let me see your hand," Magnus said softly. She shook her head and closed her eyes.

She murmured a stream of words that sounded like a crackling fire. Her injured hand burst into purple flames. The boy jumped but Magnus merely stared at her, an odd expression on his face. The flames slowly sunk into the alabaster of her skin and she slumped, breathing hard.

The wound was gone, as was the blood.

"Lily," Magnus said. She looked past him, her strange eyes far away.

"Lillian Maryse Nightwater," the Consul called, beckoning her forward. She stood on shaky legs and stepped forward, her hands trembling. She sat in the chair he motioned to and looked down at her feet, still quivering. The Consul raised an eyebrow before handing her the Mortal Sword.

"You understand why you are here?" he asked, staring hard at her.

"Y-yes," she said in barely a whisper.

"You have information that could help the Clave?"

"Yes," she said again.

"Speak up," he said sharply.

"Yes," she said again slightly louder.

"The last record the Clave has of you is your stay at the London Institute for two weeks, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"And that was?"

"Six years ago."

"Why did you leave?"

"They chucked me out."

The Consul turned on her, staring at her hard.

"Institutes cannot 'chuck out' Shadowhunter children. It's against the Law."

"Yeah well they said I wasn't a Shadowhunter so they didn't have to worry about the Law." She looked up finally, eyes narrowed in loathing.

The Consul raised his eyebrows. "That seems highly unlikely-"

"So does being a Warlock-Shadowhunter hybrid," she spat losing her temper. "But I kind of threw that out of the window, didn't I? But you would know all about how that went over, wouldn't you Walden?"

"I will not have you speak to me in this manner-"

"What's the matter Waldo? How's dear old mum anyhow? Psychopathic as always?"

"ENOUGH!"

"What, the whole attempted murder incident didn't seem to be your thing? I didn't take to it either as I recall. Of course, I suppose that's why you've been promoted. Covering shit up's what the Clave does best, isn't it?"

"You _insolate _little-" he started but stopped himself. "I find you in contempt-"

"You'll find a whole lot more here if you keep-"

"ENOUGH!" he bellowed, spit flying from his mouth. Lily shut her mouth, still staring at him in absolute disgust. He took a few calming breaths before continuing. "What… _information_… do you have?"

"Jonathan is here, in New York. He has returned for his blood. It will all end in blood. The blood of the Angel and that of the Devil will flow in the street and it will choke the life from all who remain. He is here. He is coming."

There was silence. Every eye was about her. Then finally the Consul spoke.

"What does that mean?"

Her eyebrow shot up, her expression mocking, but she answered. "It _means_ that Jonathon Morgenstern is in New York and he has returned for her," she said, pointing to the red headed girl. "And it means that someone will fight him, someone who the Angel runs purest through but it won't be enough and everyone who stays will die too."

"I've had enough of this nonsense," he spat. "This was a waste of everyone's time-"

"How was this a waste of everyone's time?"

"The Clave doesn't have time to listen to liars-"

"I was holding the Mortal Sword. I can't lie when I hold it, no Shadowhunter can-"

"But you're not even fully human, never mind a Shadowhunter, are you?"

Lily's eyes bored into him, her jaw set. Then she stood up and drove the blade into the floorboards. She turned and looked at each one of them in turn.

"You put such stock into your humanity, that you're descended from the Angel. And yet you call regular humans Mundanes and treat them like cattle. And nevertheless you're just like them, just as weak and stupid and corruptible. You were ready to surrender to Valentine just so as not to have to work with Downworlders. Downworlders who were prepared to die _for you_. All because of your stupid prejudices. And even now you still won't believe me because of what I am. Well, you know what, I can help who I am just as much as you sorry bastards can help how ugly you are. And I mean that on the inside, because yes, Blondie, we can see you chiseled good looks." Jace sat back down. "So you know what? I'm done. I tried to help you even after everything you've put me through, everything I've had to endure, everything that was taken away from me, because of you. And you've called me a liar. So now you can all burn and we'll see if your Angel will save you then!"

She cast one last look at the disbelieving faces around her before storming to the door and slamming it so hard several books fell from the shelves.


	5. Bite

"Lily, wait!" Magnus called, jogging to catch up with her. She didn't turn, didn't even acknowledge his words. Her hands were balled into fists. Fists that were sparking alarmingly.

"Lily!" he called again as she reached the elevator. She turned around quickly, the grate bursting violently open behind her.

"What Magnus?" she said with surprising venom.

"What was all of that about?"

"All of what?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

She didn't answer, merely strode into the elevator and jabbed at the button, the door closing, not before Magnus hurried inside.


	6. Rushing

Lily stormed from the Institute, her hands clasped in such tight fists that she drew blood. She could feel it running down the pale skin of her palm but didn't care. If anything it cleared her mind somewhat of the swirling red tornado of anger.

She could feel Magnus following her, feel the burning of his stare and quickened her pace. There were some things meant to be kept on the inside, not wheedled out with charm and charisma and good looks.

She heard him call out to her again, but it was as if through water. Images were flashing through her head, things that made her just want to curl into the fetal position in the middle of the street and wait to be struck by some half crazed cabbie bellowing insults in a foreign tongue.

_She was eight years old and it was the first time she'd ever looked in a mirror. She'd found it so strange, so fascinating, standing there in front of the little piece of reflective glass. She marveled at the sight of her eyes, such a vivid and resounding color, one which she could not even put a name to yet. It was astounding to be free of the browns-and-tans-and-beiges of the cellar, varied only by the strange light that crept from under the door._

_The door that had been locked. Until today._

_She'd crept from her dank prison of a room and what seemed to be a different world, like that in the old books she'd found and deciphered. It was light and airy with little glass bits set into the walls so one could look out onto the landscapes beyond. _

_She'd stopped at the mirror, puzzled when it didn't reveal the strange world outside like the rest. It had taken her a moment to realize that it was showing her herself._

_She'd never seen herself before._

_Her hair was black, like ink and shadows, her skin pale as the page of a book. And then there were her eyes, so bright and wonderful that she stood, trying to put a name to the marvelous color that had only hinted itself in the dark shadows of night._

_A door opened- not her door- but one that led outside, revealing rolling hills and more of the fascinating color, though much lighter a shade than that trapped in her eyes._

_Her mother, all black hair and dark eyes, and another man, slightly older, with brown hair, entered laughing. They stopped when they saw her._

"_What the?" the man exclaimed in shock, though her mother's eyes merely narrowed. She reached for something in her belt, something shiny and clear, like crystal. She flew at Lily in a rage, her screams filling the entrance way. _

"_You stupid half-breed bitch! Didn't I give you a chance? Didn't I tell you all you had to do was stay in the cellar so no one would see? So no one would know? You stupid demon bitch!"_

_Lily stumbled as she leapt on her, raising the crystal like object over her head. She could hear the man saying something, her mother replying, though the words made no sense. The crystal came streaking down in a great glowing arc, shimmering in the half-light._

_Then there was nothing but blinding pain and an explosion and she was flying through the air. She'd landed hard- so hard she saw stars. She laid there, gasping as the blood cascaded down her face._

_She looked up, staring at the massive amount of this new color in awe, the sense momentarily knocked out of her. She tilted her head to the side, toward the house a great hole had been blown where the door had stood. She could see her mother, rising from the dust with the help of the man, both staring at her in horror._

_Her mother took a purposeful step forward, but the man put an arm out, stopping her._

"_Let go of me Walden, you don't know what she is. She's not even human."_

_He dropped his arm and she started forward again._

_Lily knew three things at once. Her mother was going to kill her. She needed to run. Now._

_And that the sky was blue._

_And she ran, faster than she would have ever thought possible and she didn't stop running until that sepia house of lies was far in the distance._

Magnus lagged behind a bit, watching Lily as she stormed down the street with complete disregard for either herself or her fellow New Yorkers. He only darted forward when she leapt on top of a cab that had cut her off as she was crossing between two large skyscrapers.

"The light was red! Do you understand what that means? No, of course not!" she screamed through the windshield.

"We're going," Magnus said, pulling her from the cab's hood. She shook off his arm angrily as the cabbie shouted obscenities at the retreating pair.

"Just leave me alone Magnus," she said harshly. "It's not that I'm not grateful. I am. But I can't do this anymore. I can't be the freak or the charity case or whatever you think that I am. I can't live like this anymore."

She started off down the street, her hands balled into fists but Magnus caught up with her and grabbed her arm, spinning her to face him.

"I know you're not some charity case, but you came to me for help, remember? So just let me help you."


End file.
